Last night I did something unusual and drank fruity cocktails–Bellinis made with fresh peaches and raspberry syrup and Italian fizz. The sun was setting, delicious antipasto was on the way and fruit seemed like just the thing. They tasted like summer evening incarnate. I smiled a lot.

But then an old woman came in with her family–heavy Brooklyn accent, big glasses, the whole thing–and settled down with her cellphone for a shouty conversation with her cronies on the other coast. Now, I mostly steer clear of frightening old people, but she was being absolutely boorish, so I gave her the Stern Look. She gave me the pitiful-old-lady-with-arthritis look. I gave her the Heartless Unnatural Dyke look, and she sighed like a martyr and hobbled outside to finish her phone call on the veranda. I decided that the world needed a cocktail called Attitude Adjustment.

As we were leaving the restaurant a couple of hours later (after astonishingly good halibut cheeks in capers and white wine over linguine, followed by tartuffo), a car drove by stuffed with young straight boys. They absolutely beamed at me–that sunshine, total happy look that is rare in people over the age of eight, especially in public. Then they parked and got out of the car. And utterly beamed again. Then one guy said to the beaming guy, Dude, your eyes are so totally red! And it all made sense. So I think the world needs a cocktail called Dude Your Eyes Are So Red!

On the drive home, the Olympics were out in all their late summer evening pastel glory: blue, indigo, lavender, pink. It looked so much like a fantasy novel cover illustration that I half expected a unicorn to gallop out of a traffic circle and gore the car. So then I tried to imagine what a Pastel Vista cocktail might taste like. I’m thinking some kind of lavender infusion, with maybe those tiny silver balls the English used to like to sprinkle on their cakes in Days Past.

So, any mixologists out there? Any suggestions for ingredients?