Yesterday lunchtime I was sitting idly at the kitchen table waiting for the vegetables to finish steaming (carrots and cabbage, to go with the leftover braised steak and sausage with onion from the night before, if you must know) when I was struck by the label of this nasal spray:

I tried to imagine being an alien who had to interpret this message for her people:

You, sir, are an asshole!
Thank you. Here is a friendly grenade.
Now I will slam this spray into your eye by the most efficient route.

Who do they get to design these things?