18 thoughts on “la la la”

1. Alright, Shaun here. Now, I like lesbian media as much as the next straight guy…that didn't come out right. No, *my* lesbian media has plot…most of it…a significant portion of it…oh, alright! I'm trying to get *If These Walls Could Talk 2* for the sole reason that I want to see Ellen DeGeneres fuck Sharon Stone, happy?!?

   Anyway, I tend to consume lesbian media with plot, and sometime I even pay attention to that plot, and that being the case, I've got some comments.

   1) Amazons need to stop being depicted as lesbians. Seriously, that stereotype was old when it was new. The first time a Greek asked an amazon if she was familiar with the works of Sappho, it was already old. It was old before there even *were* amazons. That may be a temporal paradox, but it's true nonetheless. I'm not saying that lesbians can't embrace the amazon thing, but seriously, every amazon story I'm aware of depicts them as lesbians. Not every strong woman is a dyke; not needing a man and not wanting one are two different things entirely.

   2) If *The L Word* is to be believed, there's a whole vampire subculture of the lesbian world. Ugh; amazons, vampires, buzz cuts, army boots–see what I mean about lesbians getting me more than straight people? It's like every secret fetish I have has a place in the lesbian world, exactly where I can't get to it. I think that there is a God, and that he's a cruel bastard who intentionally made everything I like into a lesbian thing in order to keep me from getting laid.

   It's annoying. Just to be clear, though, I'm not annoyed at *you*, I'm annoyed at the straight people for…well, not doing those things. There was a show called *Queer Eye for the Straight Guy* a while back–why don't we do something along those lines only with bull dykes and straight women? Just get an army of lesbians to butch up all the straight women in America so that I can finally be attracted to people I have a chance with, thus foiling God's evil plot.

   –Shaun

   [NOTE: That was supposed to be funny, but I think I just came across as whiney…]

2. Well, I think a bunch of us dykes would like to see that show, too, so, hey, you should try get a TV or web producer interested. Talk to LOGO or Here! (they really need some more women-oriented programming).

3. I spent the afternoon at the Cool Girls' holiday party and talent show. Lots of enthusiastic singing of pop songs (Mylie Cyrus, Owl City, Taylor Swift, et al), a violin recital and even a dramatic reading. Not bad for a group of middle school girls. Oh, and there was a lot of eating junk food, desert, and candy.

4. Eggs. We're talking about eggs today 'coz I bought a carton of oversized non-commercial eggs on the weekend, and I learnt that Canadian chooks don't lay eggs during winter.

5. Yeah, Nicola, that's going to happen–I couldn't lead a pack of starving wolves to fresh meat, much less get a company interested in a thinly-veiled attempt to satiate my butch fettish.

   –Shaun

6. evecho.com said…
   “Eggs. We're talking about eggs today 'coz I bought a carton of oversized non-commercial eggs on the weekend, and I learnt that Canadian chooks don't lay eggs during winter.”

   Huh. Eggs. Okay, um, the other day (a month ago, whatever), I saw that a carton of jumbo eggs that cost the same amount as a carton of large eggs. That says something about how smart this company thinks the general public is. The sad thing is that they must be right, or else they wouldn't be selling the large eggs. *slaps forehead*

   –Shaun

7. …So, no one wants to talk about Ellen DeGeneres fucking Sharon Stone? Okay.

   –Shaun

8. No. So take that as an indication of what's a good topic here and what isn't.

9. Aw!

   So about the egg thing…actually, that's the only egg story I had.

   –Shaun

10. In all seriousness, though, I just came across a book on amazon.com:

    http://www.amazon.com/Creation-Patriarchy-Women-History/dp/0195051858/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1

    Anyone read it? Should I? From what I can tell, it sounds pretty good.

    –Shaun.

11. Here's another: Editor & Publisher are closing (mostly). http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2009/12/media-death-watch-leading-trade-publication-editor-publisher-shuttered/

12. Shaun, wow, that's an old one. I haven't read it, but it looks pretty good. Anyone else read it?

    evecho, yep, I heard about that the other day.

13. I've got several songs from The Incredible String Band's “The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter” going through my head. Amazing how such an anti-pop album has so many catchy songs on it. (By “anti-pop” I mean that it simply ignores most of the requirements of pop music — song length, simple repeating verses, etc.)

    I've been meaning to read Gerda Lerner for many years now. I see, though, that The Creation of Patriarchy comes in for some criticism in Cynthia Eller's The Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory, an excellent and important book. In that area The Invisible Sex: Uncovering the True Roles of Women in Prehistory by J. M. Adavasio, Olga Soffer, and Jake Page is probably more up to date, and it cites another book I've been wanting to look at for some time, Women's Work by Elizabeth Wayland Barber.

14. The winter no-eggs thing was a joke. Ah!

15. See, *now* would have been a good time to do the “no one wants to talk about DeGeneres/Stone” joke, but I jumped the gun on it. Ah, well.

    Which tangently reminds me of the “raw meat” post. Do you really think that this “Dyke Eye for the Straight Girl” (title could use some work) thing would be something lesbians would be interested in? Because everyone else I've told about it has looked at me with abject confusion. I don't think I'm the right person to pitch it, though–any takers?

    Also, I looked at the copyright of *The Creation of Patriarchy*, and holy crap–it's older than I am! Well, nearly. I hear that prehistoric matriarchies were popular at around that time, so I guess I'll have to regard that part with a grain of salt.

    Gonna look at *The Invisible Sex* now on Amazon. See ya.

    –Shaun

16. Shaun, please drop the DeGeneres/Stone thing.

17. I was just trying to point out that it was, in fact, a joke. Consider it dropped. Sorry if I offended anyone…
    –Shaun

18. Sci-fi flash fiction anyone? http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/culturelab/2009/12/flash-fiction-competition-winners.php?

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