Last night, I watched the first episode of Kindred. I hadn’t seen it since it first aired in 1996, just a couple of months after we’d moved into our house in Wallingford. I remembered it as being bad but, oh dear god, I forgotten how bad. The acting sucked. (Apart from Mark Wotsisname–the English actor who played Julian.) The writing–well, ‘As you know, Bob’ doesn’t cover it. (Sometime in the first three minutes one of the characters–the worst, really, the cop, who, sadly, was meant to be the star of the show–said to his buddy, “Have I left anything out?” and Kelley and I both shouted, gleefully, “Not really!”)

It was Vampire Dynasty with cheese topping. Add in the weird side-slide smear and audio thump-and-crackle of VHS and you get an idea of what we went through for an hour. Yep, a whole hour. We were mesmerised by it’s horribleness: little mongeese watching a tacky toothless cobra swaying side to side with its wig slipping. Blimey.

If there isn’t a burn ban here in Seattle tomorrow, we might ritually incinerate the tape.

What was the worst thing you’ve seen this year?