There’s been a lot of conversation about whether or not it’s acceptable to punch a Nazi. That, dear reader, is a matter for your conscience. However, if you find yourself about to punch a Very Bad Person, it might be a good idea to know how.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I used to teach women how. So here are half a dozen pointers:
- Don’t hit bone on bone. If you absolutely must, make sure you use your strong bone (your elbow) on their weak bone (their nose) rather than, say, a fist to the point of the jaw. But it’s even better to use bone against soft tissue. An elbow to the neck, a fist to the kidney, a sword finger to the solar plexus, a forearm between the legs, a heel to the side of the knee. It’s good to go for something disabling so they can’t chase you afterwards. Knees and throats are very useful for this: if they can’t breathe they can’t run; they can’t run if their patella’s gone, either (unless they have a wheelchair handy—and perhaps I’ve just lived a sheltered life but outside a Stephen King story I’ve never met a Nazi in a wheelchair).
- Get close. You have to be a lot closer than you think. If you’re hitting someone you have to be right inside their space. Maybe even touching if they’re tall and you’re not. Try it with a cushion; if you’re not used to hitting things you’ll be surprised.
- Hit on the out-breath. Preferably with a shout. Sound will make you feel better and them feel worse.
- Hit fast. Power comes from speed and mass. So you could wrap your fingers around a roll of quarters, or you could hit faster. In a perfect world, you’d do both: whip that fist/elbow/knife-hand through space. (It’s very satisfying.)
- Hit through the target. Imagine you’re swinging a baseball bat—right through the ball. If you’re going for that full-arm swing from below, imagine your target wearing their balls for earrings…
- Hit more than once. One blow is rarely enough. I’d say three minimum, depending on the damage you want to inflict and how fast you want to get out of there. But my favourite strike is a one-two combo, so mileage varies.
There are all kinds of other things to remember—put your thumb on the outside of your closed first; if you use a weapon make sure it’s an ordinary object (a comb, a book, a key); and always have an escape route—but those six are enough to get you started.
10 thoughts on “Punching Nazis”
Thanks for the pointers! :)
Hello fellow Seattelite! This is fantastic. :)
@rhodry: My pleasure.
@eklinbarg: Thank you. Every now and again I toy with the idea of teaching self-defence again, only this time from a wheelchair, operating on the principle that (projectile weapons aside), If they’re close enough to hurt you, you’re close enough to hurt them.
Making a proper fist is the first thing I used to teach people.
Heh. Best to avoid the situation, if you can…..
@amanda: First principles, yep. But that depends on the group being taught.
@peter: Best way to win a fight? Don’t have one…
bless you. Little thing I tried to teach minimum to my daughters. It at least changed their attitudes to the world. At seventy I am inclined to think my cane is a possible useful thing. grin. Cause I can’t run.
@Nanette: Cane’s are brilliant weapons. (I have a sword cane, too…)
Thank you, Mme. Griffith. It’s good to have these six points all in one dense package. When I read Ammonite in the early 90s, there was no such thing as Google. As I located and devoured your Aud books, I discovered that you taught as well as wrote about physical defense classes for women. I understand that you do not teach classes any more. That is a pity. When I was reading your Aud books, I was working in northern CA and imagined that I would one day travel north to Seattle, where my sister lived at the time, and try to enroll in one of your classes. Can one really manipulate the blood flow and temperature of one’s limbs to the degree that Aud does? Or is that Science Fiction…?
Now, I live in Regina (rhymes with fun), Canada, in the “bald assed prairies of Saskatchewan”. But you found me even there; when Hild came out, I heard about her, raced to the library and carried her home in close-wrapped arms. Her scent, her power were like a familiar wind. Thank you.
When I finished Hild, and learn that the continuation of her story is still underway, I was glad and impatient. So I discovered “Her Body”, and ordered it. I especially enjoyed Song of Bullfrog, Cry of Geese. I love post apocalyptic scifi. As readers, why do you think we step so willingly into these difficult futures? Is it bland curiosity? Craven escapism? Does the domesticated animal in us hunger for more challenge? I will leave that question to you to discuss, if you choose.
@Shirley: Why do readers love post-apocalyptic fiction? Because we’re human: we survive by playing What If, gaming out scenarios, testing strategies: If that sabre-toothed tiger attacked from this direction, what can we do? And it’s become a delight (nature’s way of reinforcing useful adaptations).
One thing, though: ‘escapism’ isn’t craven. To paraphrase Tolkien: It’s those who run the prisons who are most afraid of escape…
Comments are closed.