Today is the 30th anniversary of me moving to this country to live with Kelley. (As opposed to the 30th anniversary of meeting and falling in love with her a year and a half earlier. And the 6th and 26th anniversaries of us getting married. Which we also celebrate. Carpe party!)
Here’s a photo of me, taken in Kelley’s tiny apartment in Duluth, Georgia, on her 29th birthday. It was the second to last night of a 6-week visit for us to decide if what we had was real, and, more to the point, strong enough to get us through all the hardships ahead.
Taken in Duluth, Georgia, before flying back to the UK to pack my stuff and (ten weeks later) leave forever
That day thirty years ago was hard. I left my family and friends, my partner of ten years, the culture I knew and belonged to, and came–on a tourist visa, good only for six months–to a country where I had no job, no health benefits, and no welcome (it was illegal to even enter the country as a lesbian). I had no money. I was also ill, with what was eventually diagnosed as MS, and broke. Saying the move was stressful is an understatement.
But, hey, it turned out pretty well. We’re married. We share a life built on shared work and love. And I’m now a dual citizen. Life is good.
Nicola Griffith 
Huge congratulations to you both Nicola! Bravery paying off…
It was that sort of year for my partner and I, though demanding less courage.
I had no idea that merely entering-while-lesbian used to be illegal…
It was illegal until 1991, when Bush Senior changed it.
Happy anniversary! I have a deep and abiding appreciation both for love stories, and especially for autobiographical ones. There’s such an element of trust and vulnerability when someone holds up this deeply precious thing, simultaneously as fragile and enduringly practical as a fishing float, and grants us strangers the gift of glimpses at its beauty and complexity.
Y’all’s tale always delights me–I think mostly b/c there’s something fae and mystical about two writers meeting in a writing crucible, falling in love, and still being together so long after with hopefully! so many years ahead. Even as I say that, though, damn the sacrifices y’all had to make, and inextricably linked with that, how far we’ve come in LGBTQ rights takes my breath away.
Not to mention that every time one of you talk about it, I keep wishing Now It’s Time To Have A Party were either in EBook or audio, cause your memoir would be an incredible thing to peruse.
Congratulations to you and Kelley on your 30th! Lasting for that many years is a true measure of the love and dedication you two have for each other! Best wishes for many more years of happiness.
Congrats…that’s amazing. (heart) Happy Anniversary to both you and Kelley! To say this country has problems is an understatement, but having people like you become citizens here makes a much better, more intelligent, and beautiful place. Speaking as an American, I’m very grateful to have you here.